Soft Life vs Survival Mode; The Reality For Most Malawian Women

Let us be realistic on the idea of “soft life”. It has taken over social media in recent years by being painted as a life of ease, luxury, rest and emotional peace. Definitely a life where a woman is not constantly struggling but instead enjoying the fruits of comfort and care. For many, it is aspirational but for most Malawian women, the question remains: is the soft life even realistic or is survival mode the only option?

In Malawi, many women wake up every day not to live up to aesthetics or slow mornings but to take responsibility. From as early as sunrise, women are already working, for instance, preparing meals, caring for children, running businesses or heading to their 9-to-5 jobs. For others, like me, survival means juggling multiple roles: a vendor by day, a planner of tomorrow’s hustle by night and something else by the weekend. There is little room for rest when every day is about making ends meet.

Facing the truth, what social media often defines as a “soft life” is somewhat tied to privilege. It assumes financial stability, access to opportunities and sometimes even generational wealth and these are the things that are not easily accessible for the average Malawian woman. In a country where unemployment is high and the cost of living continues to rise, many women do not have the luxury to slow down. Hence, survival mode is not a choice; it is a necessity.

However, this does not mean Malawian women do not deserve softness. In fact, perhaps the definition of a soft life needs to be reimagined. Maybe it is not always about luxury trips or expensive lifestyles. Maybe, in our context, a soft life can mean having peace of mind, supportive relationships, financial independence (no matter how small) and the ability to rest without guilt.

There is strength in survival, but there is also power in seeking softness, even in small ways. For example, it could be setting boundaries, taking a break, saying no or allowing yourself moments of joy despite the pressure and other ongoing things. Malawian women may not always live the “soft life” as seen online with a lot of posting, but they are constantly finding ways to create that softness within their reality. And maybe that, in itself, is a different kind of luxury.

Soft life might mean something else even though it is portrayed differently on social media. There we see ease, luxury and rest. As this might be the opposite of what we see in most Malawian women, soft life should be redefined to simple things as long as they bring about peace and a little something.

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