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Writer's pictureSetrida Chikwense

Once You Reach 30

When I was in my early twenties, I believed that as soon as I hit late twenties, my bones would literally fall out, and I would lose my appeal and value as a woman. In the eyes of many, reaching the age of 30 as a woman means reaching an age where ones value depreciates. As I got older, I learnt that the stereotypes surrounding women when it comes to age and desirability weren't necessarily accurate. Surrounding me are women who have helped me realize that as women become older, they tend to grow braver, more forceful, more sure and sexier.


Most women in their early-twenties are typically going through a metamorphosis, where they are just starting to develop a sense of self and forming their own identities outside of their parents and other authorities like school. The majority of them are in a stage where they are finally able to feel truly independent, and for the first time in their lives, they have the means to explore , take care of themselves and support their dreams. From personal experience and observation, most women experience significant growth in all facets of their lives, including their careers and personal lives as they get older.


The women I have met or engaged with who are in their late 20s, 30s, or 40s or older happen to be the most attractive and self-assured human beings I have ever met.

Since some people truly believe that a woman's value diminishes with age, many of them are taken aback when they see women in their 30's, late 30's, 40's, and 50's thriving, happy , contented and sexy , some doing so without a husband or children . People lose their minds when they see older women being authentically themselves without subscribing to and social pressures and believes because it goes against what they were told or believe about how women should age.


I share an opinion with a number of women who have expressed their views on social media regarding the issue of how society expects older women in our society to behave, dress or look. The opinion being that, society and men are only upset when they see older women being unapologetically themselves and content with their lives even without having to partake in society's package of womanhood happiness because it contradicts the manipulation techniques which men and society employs on young women. Techniques which scare young women into not pursuing their dreams because they are told no one will want them when they reach a certain age, techniques which encourage young women to settle for less because they are told that when they get older, they won’t have the same options they did when they are young.


So, what happens to a woman when she reaches the age of 30? Well, that is entirely up to her! She can be beautiful, she can break boundaries, she can be sexy, she can choose to start over, she can be larger than life, she can choose herself !


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