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Writer's pictureSetrida Chikwense

How Should Married Women/Mothers Dress ?

Keke Palmer, an American multi talented entertainer_ actress, singer, Television Personality,and many more stirred up social media debate yesterday when her boyfriend, with whom she shares a baby with went on social media to criticize an outfit which the star wore to a concert. Keke's boyfriend turned to Twitter to express his disapproval with the outfit, which was a sheer dress that revealed her bottom. The boyfriend went on a tirade to remind Keke and the general public that Keke, is a mother and a wife (there is no evidence that they are married, but it doesn't matter) and didn't need to wear such an outfit.


Women in most parts of the world are culturally expected to adapt or give up different aspects of themselves after they marry or have children and sometimes even after they get a boyfriend. Women all around the world are nurtured in a society that does not expect them to be their own people, so when they marry, inthey are merely handed over from their fathers to their husbands as if they are an object changing hands.

Marriage, of course, represents a transition into a new phase in most cultural and religious beliefs. This transition, however, appears to primarily effect women negatively, as they are expected to give up certain personal aspects of themselves, including their sense of style. I remember, when one of my aunts got married, she was called aside by a group of women who instructed her to change wardrobe to represent her new status as a married woman.


Back to Keke Palmer, who has always been recognized for her diverse and fashionable style sense. Most of the outfits she has worn in the past are not particularly different from what she was wearing to the concert which makes the whole affair on her dress choice difficult to grasp. Why are women supposed to modify their fashion sense and other aspects of their personality simply because they are married or have children? A lot of people in the comments supported the boyfriend's sentiments by also expressing that if it were them, they would also have been offended if Keke was their wife.


Of course, all of this discussion about how women at various phases of their lives are required to dress or act derives from the belief that the majority of what women do is entirely for the male gaze. This belief allows men and society to police women's fashion choices because they believe that once a woman marries, she has achieved her ultimate goal in life of reaping the fruits of appealing to the male gaze by landing a husband. This translates to the idea that, she then must give up some aspects of herself because she has finally achieved what she desired by acting or dressing the way she did. People don't seem to understand that women just like any other human being, do what they do to convey their individuality, which often has little to do with men or society as a whole.


It shouldn't be this difficult for men and society to grasp and accept that women's lives do not end when they marry or have children? Yes, marriage and motherhood are stages in life that necessitate certain compromises, but these compromises shouldn't be at the expense of someone’s entire identity and personality. Women, married or not, with or without children, should be able to dress however they wish.

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